I’m going to allow you in on only a little secret – males and females think about intercourse differently.
The 2 individuals in a wedding are coming in to the marriage sleep with various methods of approaching real closeness. The artistic, the feeling, the foreplay, the “feeling sexy”, the libido, the stimulation as we learn about our spouse and learn what they like and don’t like, and what we like and don’t like– it’s all a balancing act.
I’m sure some times that I don’t feel sexy and therefore means often that intercourse could be the thing that is last my head. However it doesn’t need to be because of this. It doesn’t need to be me personally vs. him.